LOVE & i.

Love is a blur.

It usually starts with attraction.

It usually ends with tears.

Attraction, affection, depression.

That’s usually..but that’s not always how the sequence goes.

LOVE is..

that something you try to reach for no matter how far off the distance..

because it seems to be just so damn close.

It’s reaching out, sacrificing, and hoping to God that it better be damn worth the effort.

What happens if it’s not?

Well. Here’s the down side of love.

It hurts.

The tears. The loneliness.

The feeling that its not enough.

You get hurt. You get cut.

But that’s life. You get cut sometimes..

.

Love can be damaging.

It makes you, or it breaks you.

But why do we keep on coming back for more?

Because it makes us feel complete.

Candlelit dinners, conversations, holding hands.

Walks on the beach.

Sunrises, glad for another day with that person..

Sunsets, sad that another day is over.

Hugs and kisses.

The physical. The emotional. Satisfaction. Completion.

Contentment. Happiness.

This is why we keep coming back for more.

It makes us feel alive.

It makes us feel worth it.

It makes each day brighter.

And basically,

IT JUST FEELS DAMN FUCKING GOOD.

♥ T

S-Files: Definition of Being Single

Reposting this from my old blog (Trish Thinks), posted on September 3, 2008:

Let me give a shout out to those people who are single. It’s not as bad as some of you may think it to be.
.
First of all, can I just point out that people in a relationship are probably more miserable than those who aren’t in one. But then again, that may not be true in all cases. But the point is this—happiness does not solely lie on being single or not. If it’s not my first point, it’s probably my only point.
.
But define what is being single. Why do people say “I’m 30 and still single”, “I’m single and ready to mingle.” or “I’m single and ready to jingle!”? This singularity thing.. does it all boil down to being in a relationship? In layman’s terms, maybe so. Maybe that is the ultimate definition of being single. Not being in a relationship. Not having a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a significant other. Hmmm..all right, I can go with that.
.
What bothers me most, however, is the fact that people attribute being single to being miserable. “Single” and “miserable”, in all my encounters with dictionaries and thesauruses, have never been synonyms to one another. And there will never come a time that they will be.
.
To all my single ladies out there, be a woman and recognize your independence. We do not need a man to be happy. The only reason that there are people who whine about being single and miserable is because we have succumbed to appealing to the common opinion that single women are probably lonely and miserable. I beg to differ.
.
I realized this a week ago when i was convinced that I have been single far too long and therefore, must be the explanation for my “down moments”. But a little later on, after spending a lot of time with my thoughts, I have come to terms with what’s really wrong with me and it has nothing at all to do with being single.
.
However, I also recognize the fact that we are only human and that more often than not, most of us yearn for companionship. The point of this post is not to argue or contest with that fact. The only point here is to celebrate being single while you still are single. The beautiful and ugly truth is that this is the time that we have to recognize that there is still so much more to know about ourselves before we can be completely honest and open to someone else. We, then, have to recognize that we are an individual and that we can be independent, that we ARE independent. And that we do not need to find someone to complete us, because we have to recognize that we are already WHOLE.
.
In the instances that we have failed to recognize these things, as is the case with many, the relationships we get into often end up in crumbs. We end up becoming too needy, or too aloof. We end up becoming dissatisfied, discovering that what we thought was our fairytale…is nothing really but just another story. We end up feeling cheated, because we find out that the gold mine we thought we found is nothing but just another empty hole we fall into. We are happy for a number of moments…and maybe that’s good. It’s better to be happy for awhile than to be sad for the rest of our lives. But is this all we ever get? A few shots of happiness but never the whole bottle?
.
I want to believe that that is not the case. I think we deserve to get more than a few shots of happiness and that the biggest thing that prevents us from getting this is ourselves. So, I want to end this post with this reminder that—Before we are able to commit to anyone else, we have to learn how to commit to ourselves.
.

Also, another important thing to take always remember is that although you are single, you are not alone. :) So let’s call this The S-Files. LOL ♥

.

♥ T.

A Shot of Optimism, Please. :)

Reposting this from my facebook notes :)

.

So here I am, bored in the middle of the night, pissed at random things. I decided to hit up my blog (Trish Thinks) which is by the way in a dire need of an update, and i reread some of my old posts. A lot of them had the same theme. Depressed. Down. Low. Pissed. Well, in my last post called Just Like This..I sort of explained why all my posts are so damn farkin depressing.

.

I feel really low. Really bad. I wish I could start writing about happy stuff, you know? Write about happy things. And happy thoughts. But what I’ve discovered lately is that this is all writing is to me. This is how important and at the same time, equally unimportant it is. I write when I’m in pain. Every writer has their own source of inspiration. Great works derived from even greater emotions. And this is mine. Sad to say..but it is. The greater emotion is always a non-happy emotion. And so until a time comes where it is not, this is where all my words will be coming from. Out of that stupid dull ache in my chest.

.

Whiny little kid, aren’t I? But that’s just how it is. There’s a side of me you don’t see..you can just read about it, though. And then I read the entry right before Just Like This. It’s entitled Where Was I?. I uploaded it to my blog through my mobile just a day or two after I got out of the hospital.

.

Sometimes we feel superhuman. Sometimes we feel extraordinary, and strong, and confident. Yeah, there are those times. Those times when we feel so sure…so sure that we almost have everything figured out. Until we stop. One full stop. And the feeling goes away. The confidence fade in the background as a familiar confusion takes over. And the “almost everything” we thought we figured out turns out to be absolutely nothing at all.
We find ourselves back to square one.
All it took was one confirmation that i am absolutely headed nowhere. Who knew that that confirmation was simply a once-torn-and-now-fixed-but-still-hurting ACL, a pair of crutches, a LOT of bed rest, and a LOT MORE hours of physical inactivity and mental hyperactivity. That’s all the confirmation a girl like me needed to start asking myself again for the nth time..”So, WHERE WAS I AGAIN?”

.

That’s the whole of it. It’s pretty short, but I blogged it coz I just needed to take it out of my system. And frankly, I still feel the same these days. “Where am I now?” Or like.. “So, what the fuck have I been doing with my life?”.
Maybe it’s just all of this free time. And with free time comes a lot of thoughts. Some of them useless, some of them senseless, but there are still those that are meaningful. And this is one of them. I still feel like I’m headed to nowhere or going around in circles. I don’t know where I’m headed. The future is bleak.

.
So what’s my point? Well. This is me. Trying to be optimistic.

.
So what if the future is bleak. It’s supposed to look bleak, if we really think about it. That’s why we call crystal ball readers a fuckin sham. :) There’s just no way to tell where we’re headed. And we shouldn’t be scared. We always change, no matter how much we don’t notice it. There’s a continuous stirring that happens inside us. AND whatever situation we get stuck in now. Whatever it is that we are moping about now..we’ll get out of it. SIGH. It’s just a random passing feeling.
I will say this myself: I never know how to take my own advices. But please..for you guys? :) take it. coz most of the time i give pretty damn good advices. :p

.

It’s just a feeling. NOT WORTH PUTTING A BLADE THROUGH YOUR WRIST.
It’s just a feeling. Get “hassled” by it. Get irritated. Mope around. And then, move on.
It’s just a feeling. Find something to distract yourself with.

.

I think, as humans..its only in our nature to spot the tiny ink blot in a big ass white paper. We focus on that blot, and not the paper. We focus on all the wrong things. I don’t know who can blame us for doing so. Obviously, the good things in our life are done and settled and is just there. We want the not-so-good things to be “done and settled and just be there”. And so we focus on them. But sometimes life works itself out.

.

Sometimes the decisions we have to make are simple. Sometimes they can simply be because it’s what’s right for us. It only gets complicated if we start involving other factors like what other people would think. But I say fuck it.. Sometimes, life has to be an anarchy so it can be in order. We just gotta play it by ear when anarchy is needed, and when it is not.

.

Sometimes the current status we are in would change. Maybe not now..but, “good things happen to those who wait”. We can hold on to that quote.. Although I don’t think that patience is a virtue but rather..patience is just a waste of time. I don’t know. We shouldn’t wait. Better yet, I think we should just let things be.

.

I’m rambling. I’m bored. And I’m thinking. And my fingers are typing. But I should stop.

.

I love writing and reading, coz frankly it is liberating for the writer and the reader alike. For the writer, there’s a sense of release. And for the reader, there’s a sense of familiarity in the words that feel like your own. There’s a sense of security that whatever shit that’s running through your head, it’s running through someone else’s too.

.

And so here’s my two cents. Here’s my release. And I hope you guys find familiarity and security. :)

.

A Little Bit of Optimism, Please. :)

.

Peace out. :p

♥ T.

It’s the HIGH we’re after.

Getting all worked up.

Yeah. I’m getting all worked up about this. :) It’s still my “OCD”. LOL.

I can’t get over it. I’m just not happy with my theme and although I can feel my “blogspiration” running, i’m just not happy with how my whole tumblr looks like. :(

And if it doesn’t feel right. Then..blogging wouldn’t feel so right. I don’t know. Like I said, this OCD-ish-ness just won’t let me get on with my fingers and lemme start typing away like good ol times. :)

♥ Trish

What a BEACH!

“Summer time is ME time.”

—-this has been my mantra every summer since summer of ‘05.

Why Don’t I Give You 5 Reasons Why I love Summer?

1. It means I get to spend a lot of time with my friends. :)
2. I love the beach, the sun, the sand.
3. Picture this—frozen margaritas and/or ice cold beer on a hot summer day.
4. The sea, the ocean..it’s purifying. It cleanses you. It does with me, anyway.
5. The feeling of bumming, and having all the time for yourself without the stresses of the everyday rat race.

Who doesn’t love the feeling of digging your toes into the sand? Or love hearing the rippling of the waves as they hit the shore? It’s relaxing. It’s peaceful. It’s the ultimate get away. Yes, if you can’t sense it yet, it’s pretty obvious I really need to get away from it all.

.

Sadly, though, I’ve only gone to the beach twice this summer. And none of the two trips are with friends. :( Sad, sad, and just sad.. But nonetheless, I enjoyed myself. :)

.

Here are some pictures.

Good times. Good times.

♥ T.